Knowing how to be a better boyfriend can save your relationship. These 20 tips will always make your girlfriend feel happy and appreciated!
You should pat yourself on the back for being here because you’re taking the first step in wanting to better your relationship and help show your girl that you love her!
The fact that you are self aware enough to notice these things is a great step in becoming a better boyfriend. I think you’re ready to implement these tips…
But before we start, you should know what qualities actually make for a good boyfriend in the first place.
What Makes a Good Boyfriend?
A good boyfriend is someone who is honest, humble, and caring towards his girlfriend.
He pays attention to the little things, asking her how her day is going, and sending her texts throughout the day to make her feel special.
It’s not about how many gifts you can buy or how rich you make yourself look. It’s about giving her the attention she deserves and reciprocating the love she gives you.
A good boyfriend trusts his girlfriend and shows it by letting her have her space and do what she needs to do. He also focuses on himself by actively working on his self care and being his own person.
How to Be a Better Boyfriend
Now that you understand where your end goal should be, it’s time to get into the tips that will lead you there.
Keep in mind that every girl is different. Some girls might appreciate certain tips more than others.
Maybe 1 or 2 of these tips won’t apply directly to your relationship, but it’s advice worth carrying with you into any relationship.
Here are 20 easy ways to be a better boyfriend:
1) Show Respect
Of course, teasing her playfully is great for the relationship. However, most girls might appreciate you showing a little more respect than usual.
At first she might find it strange to suddenly implement higher signs of respect, but believe me when I say, she will feel like a queen after a little while.
Besides, when was the last time you actively went out of your way to make her feel appreciated? You should by no means put her on a pedestal every single day, but those occasional acts of kindness go a long way!
2) Actually Listen to Her
There’s a huge difference between listening to your girlfriend and LISTENING to your girlfriend if you know what I mean.
This is one of my favorite quotes about conversations – “Don’t listen to respond… listen to understand”.
This quote says a lot about how your girlfriend wants to be heard. You shouldn’t just nod and say “yeah” while you’re drifting off and zoning out into nothing (we’ve all been there before).
Instead, focus on really understanding what she’s trying to say. How are her emotions when she’s talking to you? Did she mention something she’s been wanting?
3) Show Interest in Her Interests
When she’s babbling on about her favorite products, hobbies, and time with friends, show interest in those things as well.
An excellent thing to practice is to bring up something you know she’s passionate about and try to keep a conversation with her.
This not only makes her feel special and validated, but she’s going to remember how much you cared about that topic and might even reciprocate it towards you.
4) Leave Room in Your Schedule for Her
This tip might be the most important one in this entire list!
Set aside time within your schedule (even if it’s just once a week for a couple of hours) to hang out together alone.
“A rich man who spends money on you means nothing, but a busy man who makes times for you means everything”
Take this quote with you until the day you die. Women appreciate this way more than you think.
If you want to be a better boyfriend, make this tip a priority in the relationship!
5) Surprise Her with Things
Adding surprises into the relationship brings in a lot of spontaneity (which most relationships are deprived of).
Some things you can do to surprise your girlfriend:
- Buy her lunch and drop it off at work
- Take her on spontaneous dates
- Show up with flowers on a random day.
The point is, not everything needs to be planned. Even if you want to plan a date, at least surprise her with the plan instead of telling her what you’re going to do.
6) Take Part in Activities She Enjoys
Does she like going shopping? Ask her if she wants to go to the mall with you.
Is she into sports? Offer her to play her favorite sport together.
Whatever it may be, find the activities she loves and ask her if she wants to do it together. The biggest thing is that YOU are the one that asks HER.
Also, don’t expect her to do the same for you. Do this out of the kindness of your own heart.
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7) Keep a List of Things She Wants
Whenever you’re in a conversation and your girl mentions that she wants something (like a product/gift) find a second to sneak it into your notes.
After a while you’ll start piling up an ideal list of gift ideas for your girlfriend that shows you listen.
Whenever a birthday or holidays come around, you’ll already have everything you need without having to stress or worry if she’s going to like her gift.
8) Show Affection Through Touch
Does your girlfriend like to get really close to you? When she does, do you bring her in tighter or just let her chill next to you?
If you just let her chill there, this is not what she wants. If you want to be the best boyfriend in the world, bring her in and squeeze her tight to show that you care.
There is a difference between lazy touching and affectionate touching. I’m sure you can guess which one your girlfriend prefers!
9) Keep Flirting with Her
One of the most important aspects of a long lasting relationship is to never, EVER, stop flirting with your partner.
Knowing how to flirt with a girl will keep things fun, spicy, and lead to a healthier relationship overall.
Some studies on old couples even showed that the biggest way they kept their marriage alive is through flirting, teasing, and having fun with each other.
If you want her to feel sexy, you have to let her know. Flirt with her like when you first met and never lose sight of that side of yourself!
10) Seek to Understand Her When She’s Upset
It’s very common for us guys to be problem solvers and rational thinkers. While this helps with a lot of aspects in a relationship, sometimes your girl just wants to be understood.
They don’t necessarily want the issue solved immediately when they tell you about it. They just want some attention, validity, and affection.
Show extra care towards her when she’s feeling down.
Take her seriously, understand what she really wants, and PLEASE don’t keep asking “what’s wrong” if she hasn’t told you yet. Just comfort her and she’ll tell you when she feels ready.
You’ve heard it a million times and you’re going to continue hearing it a million more times!
Communication is the #1 way to fix a relationship that seems dull.
If you want to be better, ask her how you can be better. If you feel there is something lacking on her side of the relationship, be sure to let her know.
Of course, communication can often lead to conflict and arguments. However, those arguments are better than living in resentment and never letting it out through your whole relationship.
12) Boost Her Confidence
When she gets all dressed up and enters the room, let her know how good she looks!
If she’s putting herself down saying she looks terrible, tell her how much it pisses you off that she talks about herself this way.
Let her know she’s beautiful, talented, smart, whatever other qualities your girlfriend may have.
Boosting her confidence in herself will also directly affect the relationship and how she treats you. Go out of your way to make her feel special.
Incorporating flirting into this can also help increase the effect of boosting her confidence.
13) Focus on Yourself
While this doesn’t necessarily affect your girlfriend, it still needs to be said in order for you to be a good man in the relationship.
Focus on your work, fitness, mental health, social life, etc.
Not only does this leave time to miss each other while you’re busy, but women love to see a man work hard and have his own hobbies (instead of being glued to their girlfriend all the time).
If you’re already extremely busy, then go back to tip #4 and use it well!
14) Introduce Her to the People Around You
What do you think goes through your girlfriends head when you haven’t introduced her to your friends and family?
I’ll tell you… she thinks you’re not proud to have her as your girlfriend! As if she’s not worthy to impress your parents or get along with your friends.
Make her feel special by finally introducing her to the people around you if you haven’t already. It makes a big difference to boosting her confidence in the relationship.
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15) Be Kind and Humble Around Her Friends and Family
Your first impressions on her friends and family can have a huge effect on the relationship.
If they like you, you’ll instantly become more attractive to your girlfriend and everyone you meet!
Believe me when I say, your girlfriend is going to take input from the people around her. If those people are on your side, then your girlfriend is going to appreciate you so much more!
16) Don’t Give 50% and Expect 50%
Most people think that a relationship should be 50/50. I heavily disagree!
Relationships should be 100/100. You give 100% into the relationship and never expect your partner to give that back.
If you feel like you’re lacking in this area of the relationship, this is where there’s plenty of room for improvement. Give 100% and watch how quickly your girlfriend starts to reciprocate it.
Just don’t forget that you shouldn’t expect her to reciprocate it. Do it out of love and love only!
17) Ask Engaging Questions
We communicate through conversation. With weak conversation comes a weak relationship.
Ask those engaging questions and keep conversations interesting. Avoid asking the boring stuff or just talking about yourself.
There’s plenty of questions to ask your girlfriend that you can find by doing a quick google search.
There are also tons of games you can play together that involve asking questions and sparking interesting conversations without seeming too forced.
18) Check in Occasionally
A weekly check-in with your girlfriend is one of the most beneficial things you can add to your relationship.
Ask her how she’s doing, if there’s anything that’s bothering her about the relationship, and even asking her straight up… how to be a better boyfriend!
Sometimes the answer is not on Google or in any blog. The answers to your problems are already inside your girlfriend’s brain.
By the way, don’t be afraid to share your thoughts during these check-ins as well! These are the types of discussions that save relationships from breaking down (even if they get heated).
19) Be a Man of Your Word
Some men have an issue saying they’re going to do something, but never end up doing it.
Be a man of your word and do what you say. Show her that you’re honest and deserving of her trust.
Say “no” when you have to and follow through when you say “yes”. It makes all the difference in building that fundamental connection within your partnership.
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20) Don’t Mention Your Ex
As sad as it is to say, a lot of people still tend to do this.
How can she trust that you love her fully when you’re still worried about your past? She can’t.
Don’t mention how your ex used to do things and definitely to not compare her to your current girlfriend. It’s harmful to both you and her.
Pro tip: If your girlfriend is the one that mentions your ex, say that it bores you to talk about it. Boredom shows genuine disinterest in things you don’t want to talk about.
5 Habits of a Bad Boyfriend
Before we finish, here are 5 bad habits that boyfriends tend to have that you should cut out of your life right now!
- Poking fun at her insecurities
- Ignoring her calls and texts
- Not taking care of yourself
- Not contributing to the relationship (cleaning, paying, etc.)
At the end of the day, the steps you need to take to be a better boyfriend are pretty self explanatory.
The only thing that isn’t immediately obvious is that these steps require effort!
I encourage you to read through the 20 tips one more time and really understand that this is what it takes to make your girlfriend happy. It takes time, effort, and genuine care to even pursue these things.
However, the fact that you’re already here tells me enough. It tells me that you’re ready to tackle these challenges in order to be a better man. I’m proud of you for that!
Good luck. You got this!