How To DM A Girl On Instagram – 10 Tips For Sliding Into The DMs

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our disclaimer for more information.

In the good ol’ days, if you liked someone, you would have to call them or ask them out in person.

Shocking, I know…we had to know how to communicate a whole lot more back then!

Now, whether you like it or not, the dawn of social media has changed how we communicate. For younger guys, this is especially true for dating.

After all, now that everyone’s connected, it’s easier than ever to get in touch with people.

When you throw in apps like Tinder or the classic slide into the DMs, it’s no surprise that so much of dating is now digital.

Personally, I’m still a fan of getting to know people in real life and doing things in person.

But hey, if you’re wondering how to DM a girl on Instagram and want some tips on how to get a conversation going, this is the article for you!

Let’s get to it.

How To Message A Girl On Instagram – The First Tip

Alright, before we get into some DM sliding tips, let’s get one thing clear.

You always need to be a gentleman and to also have some pride.

Don’t be that guy who messages people at 2AM with the classic yet cringey “u up?” slide.

Do be the guy who uses social media to connect with people when it makes sense and in a way that’s actually nice (and not creepy).

Alright, onto some tips!

1. Respond To Their Story

If you follow someone already on Instagram, you’ll naturally see when they post a story.

Story replies are also a great way to message a girl on Instagram because it’s kinda what stories are designed for…people share updates about their life with everyone who follows them, and people can respond.

Additionally, some stories can even have polls or questions, which only invites further discussion.

Now, here’s the thing: there’s a right way and wrong way to respond to stories.

You might think that replying with that little fire emoji or smirky face is cool, but trust me, it really isn’t.

If you ask me, your best bet is to try and reply to stores where something is going on and to always be genuine.

Advice on Reddit for how to DM slide…pretty solid if you ask me!

For example, if their story is of a beautiful hike, don’t be afraid to ask where it is because it looks awesome! Same idea goes for restaraunts or other events.

You can also comment on things like having the same music taste or hobbies. Ultimately, focus on the things you have in common to establish common ground.

2. Be Upfront

Another way to DM your crush on Instagram is to just be straight up.

Ideally, you should know this person fairly well since DMing someone you don’t even know or have never met is pretty lame (and desparate).

So, assuming you know each other or at least know some friends in common, you can always try being honest.

Asking them out for a drink or coffee or just to get to know each other aren’t bad ideas. If you met each other recently or were at the same social event, the timing of this DM can also feel more sensical.

Again, I’d suggest doing this in person, but hey, this is an article on how to DM girls on Instagram after all.

3. Proofread Your DM

If you suck at grammar and spelling…work on that.

People who have proper grammar almost always care about this sort of thing, so give your DM a read through before you send it off!

4. Get The Message

If you’re left on read or the message isn’t opened for days, take the hint and move on.

Sending multiple messages and getting borderline spammy is rude and desparate, so keep this in mind when DMing a girl on Instagram.

There’s nothing wrong with shooting your shot, but you have to be respectful to the person and to have some pride!

5. Don’t Be Weird

A common Instagram DM mistake I’ve heard from friends of mine is that people can get way, way too specific when trying to flirt.

Like yes…we all lurk and research people on social media.

But don’t make that obvious! After all, you’d be kind of weirded out if someone DM’d you talking as if they knew your every hobby and friend.

This made me feel uncomfortable and I’m just some dude writing an article

Keep things simple, and again, don’t be weird.

6. Add In Some Humor

If you’re wondering how to DM a girl you like on Instagram and are getting stressed out, you probably shouldn’t be DMing.

This is supposed to be fun and flirty for both parties, not a job interview.

Don’t be afraid to throw in some jokes (story replies can be great for this) or to have a bit of banter.

7. Take Rejection With Grace

If she’s not interested and says so, take it with grace and never be bitter.

There’s nothing more rude and pathetic than getting stung over rejection and taking it out on that person…especially over a DM!

8. Don’t DM While Drunk

If you’ve had a couple drinks, you might suddenly get in the mood to start a DMing frenzy.

This is, almost always, a recipe for disaster.

Again, it’s probably late, and there’s a higher chance you botch your message or write something you’re truly going to forget in the morning!

9. Don’t Just Comment On Looks

If someone is attractive, they definitely already know that.

And, while there’s nothing wrong with giving out a compliment, don’t just make things about looks

People want to feel special and validated sure, but this extends to things like hobbies, a career, ambition, and other personality traits.

10. Find Common Ground

Another great tip for DMing your crush on Instagram is to find some sort of common ground or even common friends.

Take a look at what this advice from Reddit has to say:


According to this female Redditor, this is the way to go!

Best DM Slides For Instagram – Some Examples

If you’re still wondering how to DM a girl on Instagram but need a helping hand, you’re in luck!

We’ve curated some of the best DM slide examples you can shamelessly steal to get the ball rolling.

Here are some of the favorites:

1. The Straight-Up DM

There was an interesting Reddit thread I stumbled across that had a bunch of tips for women about what guys should be sending in a DM.

Honestly, the overwhelming piece of advice was to either not DM if you don’t have anything in common or to keep things genuine.

Loses points for improper grammar and Emoji usage but you get the idea.

Maybe this isn’t the perfect DM example, but you get the idea.

Common ground is a good thing, so don’t just focus on looks!

2. The Joke

While this isn’t my favorite idea, I can’t deny that a joke DM isn’t a popular strategy.

There’s really no best solution here; you can Google some examples and find dozens of jokes to get your foot in the digital door.

Here’s a personal favorite I found:


This one has the potential to be an epic fail, but hey, it could get a chuckle.

3. A Pickup Line

Once again, you can find plethora of pickup line tips for Instagram or Tinder if you do a bit of searching.

I’d only do this if you actually know the person and can turn it into a joke or it makes sense in a story reply. But hey, do whatever you want to do!


This is just one example, but you can find plenty more!

This Pinterest board is a pretty good place to get started!

How To DM A Girl On Instagram From Tinder (Or Other Dating Apps)

If you use Tinder or other dating apps like Bumble and Hinge, you’ve probably seen a lot of girls who have their Instagram handle in their bio.

And, you might be wondering…is this an excuse to add them and shoot off a message.

The general rule of thumb is don’t waste your time.

If you don’t match with someone, don’t add them on Instagram under any cirumnstances.

Firstly, this is just plain weird.

Secondly, you don’t even know if the person is attracted to you. If they are, they’ll swipe on you eventually so cool it.

However, even if you match with someone, don’t bother DMing them off platform.

A lot of girls and guys add their handles to their profiles to get more followers…this is just a form of clout chasing, so don’t bother feeding it.

You can connect your Instagram to Tinder anyway, and there’s enough photos so you don’t really have to creep!

Extra Reading: The Best Time To Boost On Tinder.

Final Thoughts

Well, there you have it.

That’s 10 tips and some examples of how to DM a girl on Instagram without being creepy!

I still think your best bet is to do things in real life, to be confident, and to focus on living life…but that’s just me.

Dating apps and Instagram DM sliding is still fine, and we are living in the digital age.

Just remember to always be polite, gracious, and to accept whatever response you get!

Looking for more dating-related content? Checkout:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You May Also Like